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Psycology » Articles » Child Psychology » Five basic needs of the child

Art education can not be mastered once and for all. With age, the child's needs are changing and parents need to learn to be responsive to these changes. In my opinion, all the children of all ages, there are five basic needs: the need for respect, the need to feel self-importance, the need for acceptance, the need to feel connected to others and the need for security.

I called their main, as the successful implementation of these necessities - the cornerstone of education emotionally healthy child. For parents of these needs - like a road map with which you can and need to adjust their actions, evaluate pedagogical success, developing a child's character strengths and weaknesses smoothing child.

1. Need for respect

Children need to feel that they are respected. Relation to them should be the most careful handling - polite and courteous. Children need to be appreciated and saw them full of people, and not the "appendage" to the parents to be pushed around in its sole discretion. Children need to be respected as independent individuals who have their own will and desires.

If contact with the child without due respect, his self-esteem will decline sharply, it will defiantly stay with others. Eventually he did discourage the hands. Children whose parents treat them as second-class beings, often downright sure that something is wrong - it often becomes their subconscious beliefs.

For children must be treated with the same respect that we ourselves demand. For example, the phrase "I'm sorry, honey, I do not have any free moment" to say as easily as the phrase "Stop me pull, do not you see - I'm busy?". The first takes you no longer than a second. But these phrases child will act quite differently. Common courtesy sometimes able to make a strong impression.

For a child - even for a teenager who pretends that he does not care - in fact, it is important to everything: the opinions of the parents, their relationship to one and all their actions.

Indelicate, rude, inconsiderate treatment by adults are often the result of our negligence. We forget that children have the same needs as adults and do not reflect the impact on the children what and how we say it.

If you treat your child with respect, he will have a great mood, and most likely, your baby will be very respectful and treat others - including, and with their own children over time.

I'll try to give examples of how parents can improve their attitude towards children.

Rudeness, impoliteness

One day I watched as one of my friends talking with his eight year old son. The boy told his father something with enthusiasm, but suddenly the phone rang, my father stood up and, without saying a word to his son picked up the phone and started a long conversation. When the boy approached him and tried to continue his story, his father frowned and reprimanded him: "Behave politely! Do not you see - I'm talking to you!" The question is, who in this situation behaved rudely?

And what if, after hearing a phone call, the father said to the boy: "I'm sorry, Bobby, let me know who's calling. I'll be right back." And if he said subscriber: "I'm sorry, I'll call you back. Now I'm talking with my son?" It was not just a tribute - just think what an important person would have felt the boy.

One day I have to work something went wrong. Frustrated, I went home earlier than usual. My son had returned from school, he was sitting at the kitchen table and ate cornflakes with milk. Refrigerator door was ajar. I began to reprimand his son, calling him a bungler and emphasizing that food spoils quickly in the open refrigerator and that we can not afford such expenses. And then my David wept. "Why are you crying?" - I shouted. "I accidentally, and you yelling at me as if I was a villain," - he said. "Uh-oh, baby, you'd think! .." - I cried and ran out into the street.

To cool off, I walked around town a bit. And gradually it became to me to realize that my reaction to what happened is inadequate and that the reason the flash - not a son and a refrigerator, and my own bad mood and problems at work. I behaved, in fact, as if every night before going to bed, my boy again compiled a list of "ten ways to bring dad to distraction." Of course, David is not specifically left open the fridge, but I talked and behaved as if the boy guilty of serious misconduct. I treated him, to put it mildly disrespectful. Realizing this, I went home and asked for forgiveness from his son.


False - this is another kind of disrespect. True kills childlike trust. If we give our children understand that it is normal that in a conversation with younger adults can lie.

It all starts with small things. For example, you tell a child: "It's for your own good", although well aware that in the first place - it is for your convenience. Or give a promise and not fulfill it, trying to get out somehow. In doing so, we prevent your child understand the essence lies. Later, punishing him for lying, we aggravate the situation even more.

On a subconscious level, the emotional stress of the child can reach unbelievable intensity: because he wants his mother and father were the embodiments of virtue, and at the same time sees and feels their insincerity. As we grow older and begin to realize that their parents - ordinary people who can make mistakes and have their shortcomings - it often causes us surprise and even alarm.

When dealing with children - especially with kids! - Honesty - is the best thing you can think of.


If the child makes a mistake or does not respond, and we begin to answer call him harsh words ("dumbass", "fool", "couch potato", "greedy", "selfish", etc.), or otherwise humiliate word intonation or action, then we behave in highly disrespectful.

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